I feel His love!

I guess I should be sad this morning . . . but I feel such peace right now.

It has been a hard week - not much sleep but lots accomplished.  I hear Becky or Melissa in the mornings and it wakes me up.  I either can't wind down or whatever at night either so sleep eludes me.  Somehow I need to give myself permission to sleep.  Is it lack of faith?  Funny thought!  I DO know the world won't fall apart without me while I sleep.     
Besides, there is lots going on at our house most mornings.  Becky has Volleyball practice at 5:30 every other day so it means she is up by 4:30 at least.  Melissa is always up early, getting ready for work by either 4:30 or 5:30 depending if she's working 4-10s or 5-8s.  David is always up by 5:30.  I'm glad it is this way, though.  It good for my family to get up.  Only Pat lingers in bed.  sigh  If only . . . .             but I'm working on him.

 I have a confession to make.  Our bed is So uncomfortable but I'm scared to buy a new one.  We haven't had much luck in the last two.  Our first one was amazing and lasted 17 years.  We finally chucked it when the springs kept poking thru.  If only . . . .

It feels good to get the pears canned.  I just have jam left to do today . . . hopefully at least 4 batches . . . and a meal taken to a couple - the Hills.  He had a stroke but is recovering nicely.  We are slowly getting enough green beans for the year.  It's been crazy . . . I've never had them stretch out like this before.  We get a canner a picking and are up to 113 pints - finally.  Two more pickings to go and we'll be done.  I've finally digging my way thru the laundry room (folding the myriad of baskets of clean clothes) and found some of my white socks. So happy!  Small things do matter.  Pat has been vacuuming for me - that's the only thing keeping me sane.  I did go thru part of the Fruit room.  Still have so much to do, especially defrost both freezers.  Getting meals ready this week has been a huge chore. Becky had volleyball games two nights so I've been gone . . . but I'll be home tonight. There is a pile of dishes stacked deep that we didn't get to because we were canning pears.  It was so fun.  David and Melissa and I worked at it . . . and talked. I am so happy that Melissa has such a good head on her shoulders.  Thru smart thinking and planning, they will be fine.  She carries so much on her heart . . . but God is so mindful of her and Pat.  Their sacrifices have not gone unnoticed.  I think she gets discouraged concerning Pat . . . but something is happening inside him that she doesn't yet see.  He is growing up!!!!  He is realizing what is happening around him.  He is gathering himself to a place where he can take more responsibility despite how scared he must feel.  I felt last night the direction Melissa wants to go.  It is a great direction.  She is an amazing person.  I hope she knows it.  It felt so good to work together.  I didn't mind the late night . . . especially when all the jars sealed.  It was so worth it.  David has been jumping in so many times to help me . . . with dishes, picks  the beans, and even the canning when I went to stay with Mom.  She was so sick.  We almost lost her.   

I know what it is.  I went to the temple yesterday. I actually took the time to linger in the Celestial room. It filled me up in a way that I needed.  

I feel Him so close this morning.  He knows I have so many worries.  Many of our family are struggling. It hit me pretty hard that Becky sat out both games at Middleton yesterday.  There are too many team players . . . and I think they want Becky to push herself more! . . . to fight for a spot on the Starting Team.  I know she has it in her.  She has a drive that won't quit.  She has great abilities.  She just has to believe in herself and trust that her body will do what she needs it to.  We will see how this morning's practice went.  I know she struggles to get sleep too.

I just seems like I have a never ending list of things to do to even catch up.  I'm making slow head-way.  Is it enough?  So many to serve, to help.  He knows I will do whatever it takes, even if it is walking our dog, Hershey.  We claim him for now - till Pat and Melissa move.  I will write letters to my loved ones.  I will do my calling to the best of my ability.  I will read.  I will pray.  I will serve . . .and thru all this I will grow.  It has been so hard to have my Mom sick - esp to be so far away.  I can't even begin to say.  Yet I have to believe He will take care of us!  I know He will.  I just have to do what I can.  He will make up the rest. 

I love Him so much!